Then again, I feel that way about people watching "Game of Thrones", so there is that.
I once dated a man who, I was to discover later, was obsessed by pornography.
Myself, I have mixed feelings on the subject. I think some of it can certainly be demeaning, but it is also a choice that adults are free to make, so I am rather agnostic about it. Then again, I feel that way about people watching "Game of Thrones", so there is that.
I found out about his secret proclivities after he borrowed my laptop for a few days. His computer was down due to a virus -- which I now assume most likely came from an internet STD.
When he returned the computer I saw that there were folders that were not mine; inside those files were pictures of bestiality and child-porn.
I'm kidding: he wasn't that dumb. No, I just pieced it together when I clicked on some sites where the name would usually auto-fill with a letter or two, but no longer did so: he had emptied my cache and deleted all cookies.
Perhaps he did so to cover his tracks in some Bahamas bank money-laundering scheme, but he drove a late-nineties Volvo, so I knew it wasn't done to hide big money. Which left porn.
I later asked him about what kind of porn he watched on my laptop, and of course he denied anything of the sort. Which was the real problem: like I said, I'm agnostic about porn, but I'm pretty Old Testament when it comes to boyfriends lying to me.
Anyway: I have no idea where he is now, but -- regarding virtual-reality -- I'm pretty sure he's one of those guys who has a VR headset but doesn't play any video games.
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Comment: "I purge the cookies, caches, and various other items on my wife's laptop all the time, as part of basic hygiene."
It wasn't just the mass-delete of my laptop that made me realize what he was up to.
I just didn't want to bring up some of his sex moves, because when a woman on the internet writes about sex all of the men get easily distracted.
Myself, I have mixed feelings on the subject. I think some of it can certainly be demeaning, but it is also a choice that adults are free to make, so I am rather agnostic about it. Then again, I feel that way about people watching "Game of Thrones", so there is that.
I found out about his secret proclivities after he borrowed my laptop for a few days. His computer was down due to a virus -- which I now assume most likely came from an internet STD.
When he returned the computer I saw that there were folders that were not mine; inside those files were pictures of bestiality and child-porn.
I'm kidding: he wasn't that dumb. No, I just pieced it together when I clicked on some sites where the name would usually auto-fill with a letter or two, but no longer did so: he had emptied my cache and deleted all cookies.
Perhaps he did so to cover his tracks in some Bahamas bank money-laundering scheme, but he drove a late-nineties Volvo, so I knew it wasn't done to hide big money. Which left porn.
I later asked him about what kind of porn he watched on my laptop, and of course he denied anything of the sort. Which was the real problem: like I said, I'm agnostic about porn, but I'm pretty Old Testament when it comes to boyfriends lying to me.
Anyway: I have no idea where he is now, but -- regarding virtual-reality -- I'm pretty sure he's one of those guys who has a VR headset but doesn't play any video games.
________________
Comment: "I purge the cookies, caches, and various other items on my wife's laptop all the time, as part of basic hygiene."
It wasn't just the mass-delete of my laptop that made me realize what he was up to.
I just didn't want to bring up some of his sex moves, because when a woman on the internet writes about sex all of the men get easily distracted.
I saw your link at the bottom of your cross post in Ann's comment. I followed the breadcrumb. I checked the other posts. I'll check back. Interesting style of writing with some good wit (like many of Ann's commenters).
ReplyDeleteAs for the BF, I think your instincts are right. One way or another, he was hiding part of his life from you and didn't want to share it. In some ways, we all hide our"Dark Side" as Kelly Clarkson would call it, but lasting relations are built upon sharing and accepting the dark side. If you hide it, you'll hide other things. Better for both of you that the guy find someone he is willing to share with and will allow him his guilty pleasure, and for you to find someone the will be open to you.