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Showing posts from May, 2018
There is no graceful way to get off the field when you have just shit yourself in front of everybody during your Victory Lap.
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Is it that Starbucks' coffee tastes too burnt?
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More than race, the opinions on this issue probably divide rather cleanly between those who have worked low-level retail jobs since the start of the new century and those who haven't.
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Because what the director is saying is that Billy Dee "Colt .45 It Gets The Job Done" Williams had sex with men, too.
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You are spending the time in an exercise that was primarily made so that the executives can check a box for the lawyers to point to in potential lawsuits.
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I hope that one day he is able to find the geek girl of his dreams, but I will not be the one to dress in the Princess Leia slave-girl costume.
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That also applies if I am naked in bed with a woman.
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I don't know who the action figure was, but she wore a metal bra and had a cape.
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Because Julia Roberts is related to Eric Roberts, and Eric Roberts is crazy, and crazy is often genetic.
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As a slender white Jewish woman it pains me to say this, but even Natalie Portman -- beautiful, smart, slender Natalie Portman -- can be seen as complicit.
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Okay: one time is perhaps an accident, two times means you want to watch your girlfriend urinating.
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As a young white Jewish woman, I would like to hear more about this prostitution scale.
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The idea of Lenny Bruce, but maybe not a lot of the actual jokes.
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Especially on very warm days, where the occasional rivulet of sweat might slowly run down my chest to disappear under the neckline of my garment.
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As such, I usually aim to keep my clothing and make-up shy of the point where a man might come in his pants just by looking at me.
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Maybe the drawing would work better if he had a card saying 'PRESS" stuck in the hat band. It couldn't hurt.
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A friend excused herself from the table, and I was sure it was so that she could get away from me, me and my smell of medieval death.
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Now stop thinking about black men and my naked breasts, you naughty boy.
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Then again, I feel that way about people watching "Game of Thrones", so there is that.
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Which made me the Jewish white girl at the party that wasn't dancing.
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His black friends hated me; at first I wasn't sure if it was because I was white or because I was Jewish, but then I realized that either was sufficient, really.
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Or we just tilt at windmills with angry Tweets. Either way.
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In time, they make use of the opportunity to acquire new skills - piano playing and ice carving among them...
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Because sometimes it takes a pound of prevention to produce an ounce of cure.
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"The Iron Cross is much too cliche I'm afraid, and the Cthulhu and Baphomet choices are what a school shooter would buy at a Hot Topics in the Potential Mass Murderer section..."
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The murderer had a plan that he failed to see through because of fear. Which would seem to be the opposite of courage, really.
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Because royal weddings have a seed of a future Judy Garland in every beginning.
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They were like mosquitoes, drawn to sweet, sweet 'cootie' juice.
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